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Since he was in kindergarten, I have been hearing how much Conor looks like me. I never had red hair but that does not seem to matter. For after school programs, parents or guardians are required to show ID when picking up their kids. Countless times I would have my driver’s license ready to show to some teacher who I never met before and be greeted with “I don’t need to see your ID. You must be Conor’s father. He looks just like you.” This continues even today. I have come to accept the majority opinion that Conor inherited a lot of my genes. However, would it be too much to ask that he not inherit one mutated gene? For the past week I have been praying that he inherited my normal copy of the CDH1 gene. No reason to have the mutated copy of this gene. No one would know the difference. Eventhough, I have made it through the toughest part, and things continue to improve, I wish no one would have to go through this experince. Unfortunately, I did not get what I wished for. The news is devastating. It’s reliving the sadness of my brother’s diagnosis, his death, the news that my niece has the same CDH1 mutation, my news and surgery. I know I don’t get to choose how my genes are split or which ones are inherited. This is my fault. However, in time I will accept this as something I could not control.

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